I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
