Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
