Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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