lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
