did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
