yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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