Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
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Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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