Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
The feeling are messing with the penis
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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