That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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