not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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