yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
