she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
