yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
