Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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