if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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