Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Come see our sink grown plant.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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