didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
