i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
