Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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