The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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