You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize