I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
