Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
