Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
