i need an iv and a liver transplant
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
