I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
