So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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