Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize