I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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