Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
True strength comes from lack of pants
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
