Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
