omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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