I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
