you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
