Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
