perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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