He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
