last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Oh god it's open bar.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
