Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
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That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
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Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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