I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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