Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
