It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
