I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
either way he was missing a nipple.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
