dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
