dude i'm inner monologue high
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
