Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
