Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
