cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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