sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
