If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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