She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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