Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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