I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
