no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Randomize
