i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
