Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
