Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
