Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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