Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
my poor anus
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
