TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
