People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
