KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
