yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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