so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
